After living in the sex tourism capital of the world for three weeks, today is the first day I feel like I can begin to adequately write about some of what has been going on.
Here in Pattaya Thailand I am working with an organization called Shear Love International that helps provide educational opportunities for people desiring to leave the sex industry. They offer a beauty and barber school to train men and women to be certified in hair dressing; therefore giving them the opportunity for a better future. While I have been here I have been doing an assortment of jobs including English teaching and social media admin, but most heavily I’ve been going on bar outreach. This is what God has laid on my heart for a while now and He brought me here in perfect timing to join the outreach team. We have been going to the bars (which all double as brothels) to find students for the next school year of Shear Love. People that are trapped in this industry but desire to leave. While there are people trafficked here from all over the world, a lot of the Thai people working in the bars or streets are there because they have no other options. They have children and families they need to provide for and because a lot of them are uneducated and the demand for sex in this city is so high- countless men and women come here from all over Thailand to find work- some coerced and lied to, others sold by their parents at a young age, and still others coming knowing full well what is to come. After walking the streets of the red light district countless times I have seen unthinkable things, I have heard some of the most gut wrenching stories, and I have experienced some of the most uncomfortable situations. Still yet, as the Lord continues to reveal to me His heart for this place, I have seen some of the most beautiful transformations, heard some of the most intensely God glorifying testimonies, and experienced some of the most hopeful moments.
One night after we walked through the red light district, we met for a prayer and worship night in the top floor of a building overlooking what is known to be the worst street in Pattaya. That night I let the horrors break me. I remember as we were praying and worshiping from late that night to early morning, I began to realize the severity of sex trafficking, the intensely intimidating reality. As I was crying out to God we were singing “I give it all to you God trusting that you’ll make something beautiful out of me”. I heard God speaking to me saying that I need to trust Him to make something beautiful out of this. This horrible mess. I remember Him asking me to let go of control and trust that He will in fact make something wonderful out of Pattaya. Out of these streets. Out of each person involved in the human trafficking happening here. And as a sweet friend reminded me tonight, God can only make beautiful things, He cannot make anything that’s ugly. So when He is working, it has to be toward something good and beautiful!
There are some days I feel okay and think maybe I’ve gotten the hang of this place but then there’s other days like today where it all hits at once. Where I wake up with the heaviest heart remembering all that I’ve seen and heard in the streets, bars, and brothels in the past week. I’m thankful God has called me to minister in literally one of the darkest places on earth. I come alive in the bars when I’m talking to the girls that are selling themselves. While my heart breaks for them, I’m so honored that God has trusted me with the task of being their friends, encouraging them, and sharing His intentional love with them. I’m still struggling with a lot however. Like how to have grace and love for the five Indian men that just purchased one girl for the night. Or how to process seeing the mother that’s selling clothes on the side of the road also willing to sell her own daughter if someone asked. Or perhaps how to react when a man approaches you thinking you’re for sale. It’s a lot and I don’t know what I’m doing half the time but I’m beyond honored to be here working along God to make something incredibly beautiful and wonderful out of this place.
So I’m learning to trust His promise that He’s making it all new. That He is working for good even when all I see is terrified girls doing what they can to keep them and their children alive, and men that think these people are mere objects that they can purchase and abuse. I’m learning to trust that God has not surrendered this city or these streets or ANY of these people. They are all still His. Trusting that He is still the God of this city. Still in control. Still with full authority. And that He sure will make something incredibly beautiful out of this.
There’s no shadow You won’t light up, mountain you wont climb up- coming after (them).
No wall you kick down, lie you won’t tear down- coming after (them).
