J’s Journey

“There is hope, it is not too far gone” are the words I hear God speaking to me over and over again throughout the past 9 weeks. I am not too far gone, my family is not too far gone, my circumstance is not too far gone. There is hope. I have believed a lie for so long that my circumstance is too far gone and there is no hope. That I had to accept things as they were, that there was no way things could be fixed, could get better. Not a chance that my family could be restored. I learned to settle, to give up and be okay with an unhealthy home life. I thought, there is no chance that God could heal it, theres been too much hurt and too much trust broken, to ever be able to truly feel welcomed and loved there. I put God in a box, I believed a lie about Him for most of my life, that He is not big enough to fix my family, that its too huge of a task, that there is no hope. It NEVER crossed my mind until about two months ago that God could actually restore and heal these deep issues. That things could actually change, that love could fill my family again, that the pain from the past no longer has to define us. I became mad at the enemy for what he has taken from me, how he has led me to belive my entire life that God could not work a miracle, which led me to giving up on all hope. Mad that satan thinks he has complete control over my family. Well newsflash he doesn’t and now I know that.

Now it’s time to fight. Fight for healing, fight for freedom, fight for restoration. My weapon is prayer and I am learning to pray intensely and diligently, fighting the spiritual war that has taken hold of my family for too long. God wants to heal and restore me and my family and He wants my help in that. He is tearing down the lies that there is no hope for this family and showing me that all things are possible with Him. There’s no amount of untruth that can separate us.

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“In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world” John 16:33

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If you are reading this and are in a situation that seems hopeless, be assured and encouraged that NOTHING is impossible for Jesus. He can heal, fix, and mend anything and everything. We have a God who is bigger than the hurt, the scars, and the past. We need to magnify Him until the He is the biggest thing we see. He is our hope. He is the answer. He will fight for us.

can´t get enough, can´t get enough of your presence

can´t get enough, can´t get enough of your goodness Jesus

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When we found out (in the airport) that we were going to Cancun Mexico, I am not gonna lie, I was not completely excited. First, I did not particularly want  to go to Mexico, I live 2 hours from the border and I could really go whenever I wanted to (even though I never had before), and second, I was feeling  pretty done with going to touristy places and cities. What I love is remote villages where I get to love on children, pray with families and experience the culture.  That is the ministry I particularly enjoy. Do not get me wrong I absolutely love the ministry we have been doing for the past five weeks: street worship, evangelism, intercession etc, but my soul was longing for more: to reach more people, to see more culture, to experience more new things.

Every country we have gone to, we are given maybe one or two contacts, but every single one in every single country has fallen through, so we have resorted to finding our own contacts, or simply doing our own ministry which looks a lot like what I mentioned above (street worship, evangelism, intercession etc). We have no doubt seen God move in mighty ways during this type of ministry, but it is so draining organizing it every day with limited opportunities. So when we found out we were going to Cancun, I began asking God to give us contacts, ministry, program, anything, and the rad thing is that He knows me heart and my desires so well, because He gave them to me, and He loves to give His children the desires of their heart.

This week we showed up to Mexico with no contacts and no ministry, but God is so faithful; He literally sweeps me off my feet with surprises. We got in touch with YWAM Cancun and the very first day we got here we met up with them. We had some fellowship as they took us in with all the love we could ever imagine. They generously offered to let us join their ministry, which, what would you guess it was? Loving on kids in a remote village while praying for the families and experiencing the culture. yep, EXACTLY what had been on my heart. I did not even dare ask God for that before, He just knows my heart so well and He excitedly trusted me with this ministry. It was a dream literally, and it was even cooler to see how language barrier is not a an actual barrier at all when you have the Creator of languages with you! Seriously so dang cool. This week has been fillledddddd with ministry left, right, and center, which was what our team had been longing for. We have done some pretty new and exciting things that opened our eyes to a whole new way of life.

We unfortunately only have a short time here in Cancun and I am surprisingly sad to leave. If you would have asked me on Monday if it would be hard for me to leave Mexico I would have looked at you with a weird face and laughed because I did not expect to like it here, let alone fall in love with this place and these people, but I did, and in such a short amount of time. I asked God to give me a heart for this place, and He did more than I expected (per usual). He gave me His heart for this place and these people and has made it hard for me to leave; in the best way.  So I will leave Mexico leaving a part of my heart here, waiting expectantly for God to give me a heart for the next country we go to, whatever it may be. His goodness and faithfulness is so great I cannot comprehend it.

He is so good

He is so faithful

I can´t get enough

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ´Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it but whoever loses their life for me will find it” Matthew 16:24-25

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Outreach is half way over and my time here in Colombia is quickly drawing to a close. If God has taught me one thing during this time, it would be the beauty of giving up my rights and dying to my flesh daily. I thought I knew what all of this meant , but God has shown me something much deeper. The last five weeks have  shown me what picking up my cross and denying myself actually looks like.

One huge way God has been gently revealing this truth to me is showing me that my time is not my own. After leaving Cyprus, we had a long layover in Germany and naturally I was ecstatic to finally get some alone time. I bought a coffee and started journalling and reading my Bible. I was spending some quality time with Jesus when a man sits farther down the table. I had asked God earlier that week to provide divine appointments with people while I was traveling. Everything in me screamed ´talk to him, just say something, anything´. Remembering what I had asked God for earlier I struck up a conversation with the man. What started off as a shallow conversation about the coffee ended with Him accepting Jesus as Lord! WHAT?! God is so good! This man was so interested about my story and things God has revealed to me. I got to share my testimony and how God has healed me, made me whole, and set me free through love. I shared the pain, the hurt, and the reality of my past but it quickly led to how God has made beauty from my brokenness. So no, I did not get the quiet time my flesh longed for, but my spirit was more than satisfied that a soul found Jesus´redemptive and personal love. So whether it be at an airport trying to get some alone time, or at the grocery just trying to quickly buy some food; I will be open to the Spirit interrupting my schedule for His glory.

The Lord is also teaching me how to rise above my fleshy emotions by choosing not to participate in them. Sounds pretty weird but its legit. My third day in Colombia, my phone was stolen out of my pocket. Huge bummer. Naturally I was upset, frustrated, confused, and annoyed. I got a new phone shipped to my address in Colombia but because of corruption and a ban on phones entering the country we have still yet to obtain the phone. It´s been sitting at the fed ex 30 minutes away for 3 weeks and every time we try to get it, they come up with another excuse why we cannot have it. So now I will be flying to a random country with no phone. Because I am human I have felt completely frustrated throughout this situation, but God has shown me that I cannot stay there. I cannot sit in my frustration and shut down. Theres work to be done, people to be told the truth that Jesus loves them. I have learned that because I am in this world it is natural to feel these emotions, but because I am not of this world I have a higher calling to rise above and not let my fleshly issues affect my ministry. Its crazy that the moment I give it to God, He shows up in the most awesome ways and I am not distracted or held down by it anymore, being able to focus on the task at hand.

Something else of the flesh I have been struggling with is weariness. Naturally after doing constant ministry and traveling for five weeks my body becomes tired. One day in Cartagena we were doing some mall evangelism and I was not feeling it. I was tired after a day of traveling, I was sweaty because of the humidity and I did not want to participate. That´s when God reminded me that I have a choice, I can operate in my fleshly strength or I can operate in His perfect strength. Right after I decided to rely on His strength and refreshment we saw Him move in incredible ways. We prayed for a lady who had a back and knee brace and watched tears stream down her face as God healed her body and completely took away her pain. It was the most beautiful sight. It´s crazy how giving up my right to these crazy emotions actually sets me free!

One right that I have to continuously give up is my right to comfort. Comfort on all levels, from my living and sleeping conditions to spontaneously being asked to host a church service. With our time in Colombia, God has challenged me to minister with the people here whether I have a translator or not. It is not the most comfortable thing to go up to someone knowing about 15 words in their language asking if you can pray for them, but God shows up each time whether I know what they are saying to me or not. We once had about a 20 minute notice that we were going to be hosting most of a church service. It is not the most comfortable thing to sit through worship and have God tell you to stand up and give a word to the people about personal things God has healed me from, but again so many people encountered God after I shared what God had shared with me for the people. One by one they came up to me after the service asking for prayer, I had no idea what they wanted prayer for but I felt God´s heart for each and every one of them. When I give up my right to feel comfortable I give room for God to move through me to His people.

We have a higher calling than just living the human life and settling for these rights and emotions. There is so much more freedom when you lay them down and are not hindered by the baggage they entail. When you dare to step into your higher calling, God can use you for amazing glory in His Kingdom.

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It´s my J O Y to lay it down, I give it all to you. 

I love the feeling where God has shown me and taught me so much that I don´t have a clue how to put words to it yet alone process it. That´s exactly where I am at the moment. Jesus is chasing His people here in Cyprus and its so beautiful to be a part of seeing that unfold. To see God touch His precious children is something that will never grow old. This week has been a full week of ministry. It has been breathtaking to watch people become overwhelmed by the love of God.

Last Sunday, we did an evangelism event on the boardwalk right next to the Sea. Just thinking back to this day brings chills to me because the Spirit moved in such mighty ways. We partnered with the other YWAM team that we had ran into. We saw numerous healings starting with someone who´s shoulder had been injured. Some members of the team prayed for him and he was healed instantly. We watched him walk away testing out his fully restored shoulder. Hallelujah am I right? We watched left and right as the gospel was being spread, the Holy Spirit was touching many many people, and more people coming to Jesus than we could keep track of. I got to talk to a young woman siting in Mcdonalds and simply spoke life and her identity over her (which she had never heard before), shared the gospel, and told her my testimony. I could see on her face that the Holy Spirit was moving. I got to pray for her and watch Jesus meet her right where she was. It was such a precious moment. I love getting to watch Jesus meet His people when they least expect it.

 

 

Yesterday, we did some street worship by a Greek Orthodox church, and man was God on the move. Most people we talked to had of course heard about God but they did not know Him as a personal savior who wants a relationship with them, rather they were stuck in religion and rituals. My heart broke for these people because they did not understand how simple the gospel is and God´s heart for them as individuals. I got to pray for so many people and watch them be filled with the Holy Spirit. There were some powerful encounters. We saw a girl who could barely put weight on her ankle walk away with almost no pain after my team prayed for her. We also saw a woman with a very rare bone disease who had always been in constant pain, be completely healed in minutes! THANK YOU JESUS!

 

God is teaching me to make this ministry a lifestyle: sharing the good news of God´s love with everyone I interact with. It´s too precious of a gift to not share. I have been blessed with this truth and now it is my responsible to bless others with this truth. It goes back to the beginning of Genesis, we are: blessed to be a blessing. God´s heart for the nations can be seen at the very beginning of the bible, not just in the Great Commission. The great commission is actually a reaffirmation of the Abrahamic covenant, it has always been about the nations, God´s heart has always been chasing after the gentiles.

“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you. I will make your name great and you will be a blessing… and all peoples on earth will be blessed by you.” Genesis 12:2-3

He blessed me by revealing Himself to me, redeeming me, and giving me salvation, and now I have a responsibility to share that blessing and revelation of Him to the lost, whether that be in America, or in the Middle East. This is my call. This is every Christian´s call. Yes it is uncomfortable at times, yes it is almost always challenging, but thank the Lord it is not about me anyways. So who cares if I look crazy, cause the most of the time I probably do! There are lost people living without God´s perfect love and that breaks my heart. I cannot imagine living without Jesus. I have stayed quiet for too long. I have a free gift that they do not know that they need. Wherever I am, my call is to make disciples, to reach the lost, to love like Jesus.

God is also teaching me to let Him interrupt my schedule. Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, if I feel Him telling me to talk to someone it is my duty to obey; where they spend eternity could be on the line. I´ve also learned so much about stepping out in boldness and praying for healing. God does not want us in pain and my leaders have inspired me by reaching out to hurt and sick people no matter where they are and watching God bring His kingdom by completely restoring people´s bodies. Its so insane. One day one of them was walking back from the coffee shop to our flat and she saw a man with an injured leg. After praying for him, he could walk on it like normal! PRAISE THE LORD! We´ve had encounters like this daily, it so unbelievable! I am learning to be in tune with the Holy Spirit and really just listen and obey. We have seen multiple people come to Jesus because we hear His voice, feel His love for His people, and obey.

 

“There´s a yes in our hearts, and it carries through eternity. Simple obedience, it changes history”

 

God brings the harvest to ripeness but He wants to use His people to reap it. Isn’t that so neat? He could easily do it on His own but He wants to spend time with us and partner with us to reach His people. He wants to rule with us. God has really given me His heart for the unreached people. He breaks my heart for what breaks His, time and time again. I am growing to really enjoy reaching people on the street and in everyday encounters! It is so exciting to never know what Jesus is going to do next. Life with God is never boring- it is a true adventure.

“So Barnabas and Saul were sent out by the Holy Spirit. They went down to the seaport of Seleucia and then sailed for the island of Cyprus. There in the town of Salamis, they went to the Jewish synagogues and preached the word of God” Acts 13:4-5

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On Saturday, March 25th, we got to the airport in Norway at 4am and opened an envelope telling us we were going to Cyprus! Cyprus is a small island off the Mediterranean Sea, in the Middle East. The envelope told us we had a place to stay for two nights and after that we would have to figure out where to live by ourselves. Getting to Cyprus we had no contacts, no ministry planned, and no idea what our purpose was there, but we had such a peace that God would without a doubt take care of His kids. We did know that Paul´s first mission was to Cyprus and he began by connecting with the local church, so after God told us that, we found a church about five minutes away from where we were staying and went to their service the next morning. After going to church we got connected with YWAM Cyprus along with a YWAM team from Scotland on the last two weeks of their outreach. It was awesome to see how God guided us to that specific church to find these fellow YWAMers and to connect with the Scotland team for their last two weeks of outreach. By God´s grace we found a place to stay within our budget for the remaining two weeks we have here. After much intercession, worship, and prayer walks, our team felt like God brought us to Cyprus to refresh and support the long term missionaries and the Scotland team who have been here for 2 months. We were excited to join forces with them and work alongside what they have been doing, motivating them and doing the dirty work they did not want to do or did not have time to do. As a team we gave up our rights to do ministry the way we wanted and our rights to see the fruit of what we were going to do because we were expecting to be behind the scenes.

We started working with a group called Oasis which is a Christian organization who reaches the refugees and migrant workers in the area. We have been helping them fix up the yard of their facility by doing yard work for hours at a time, but because God is awesome, He has given us such a joy and a heart for doing the dirty work, the stuff people normally do not want to do.  We so enjoy helping and supporting these inspiring long term field workers. After helping with them we quickly got connected with the YWAM Scotland team. We partnered up with them in intercession, prayer walks, evangelism, and worship all around the city. One cool thing that God has blessed us with is connections and friendships with some African refugees and Indians who were either hindu or muslim! We had a day in the park with them where we did some worship and some people shared testimonies. Then the next day we continued with these connections by doing a sports day on the beach with them. After playing for a while we all gathered and worshipped together and then more people shared testimonies. Mind you, at this point my team and I are fully okay with not seeing any fruit because we gave up that right and we still had confidence that we are doing God´s work here whether we see the fruit of our work or not. After some of our team shared testimonies we asked the Indians and Africans if we could pray for them in any way: healing, to receive Jesus, for peace, and to our joyful surprise many asked for prayer! Almost instantly one African man was healed of a knee injury and then I heard a group of Indians praying to dedicate their lives to following Jesus. The Holy Spirit was there so mightily and He was just touching each heart there in such a unique and beautiful way. It was incredible to see God reaching His beloved children with refreshing peace and love. Everywhere I turned I saw our teams praying for them, people getting healed, people accepting Jesus,  people feeling God´s presence, and people sharing the gospel. It was indescribable. God is so personal it´s insane. I got to speak to an African man about Jesus and our lives for about half an hour and it was so special to hear his story about how he got from Africa to Cyprus. Some of the refugees wanted to know more about Jesus so we will be holding bible studies together with them for the remaining time we have here. It was just so astonishing to see so many people meeting Jesus and His beautiful life changing love. He met them personally right where they were. So good!

“For The Lord your God is a consuming fire” Deuteronomy 4:24

God is insane, is He not? He is bringing His kingdom here in Cyprus in such a breathtaking way that I cannot help but be in awe of His glory and wonder all over again. My heart is to see the lost and hurting meet the Perfect Love that changed my life forever. I have something valuable in me called Truth and it is such an honor that God has trusted me to relay that message to His precious people. God has been so faithful to take care of us from giving us a place to stay, to finding the other YWAMers, to ministering with His people and even getting to see some of the fruit from that! God has taught me so much this week but one thing I think that He has constantly been reminding me of is the importance of being completely reliant on Him. It´s so insane that due to our circumstances we have become fully dependent on God because we had no plans, no connections, and no where to stay when we got here, so all we could do was seek God first and let me tell you, He is taking care of His children more than we could have ever imagined. He is truly such a good Father.

Someone told me upon leaving Norway to expect more of God and to ask for bigger things, at the time I did not know what that meant or looked like, but now I do. I want to bring God´s Kingdom wherever I go with the unique story and giftings He has given me, whether I see the fruit or not, whether it´s the way I expected or not. I trust God will be working every step I take, with every heart I encounter, and with every country I go to.

“From head to heart you take me on a journey of letting go and getting lost in you” 

This week has been such a journey of getting lost in God and it has been my absolute favorite. Man,God has done some real good work in my heart: digging deep, healing, and filling it back up with truth. God taught me so much about Him being my perfect Father and what that means for me. I’ll be honest, while the Holy Spirit is my best friend and Jesus is my lover, at the beginning of this week I did not feel like I knew the Heavenly Father at all. It scared me and I told Him that and like always, He came and met me right where I was. He did ask my permission to dig deep into my heart to find the root cause of this issue and knowing that even though it might be very painful, I knew He would not ask me unless it was time and it was for my good. So I handed over the keys so He could do what He needed to do. God revealed some stuff I had “forgotten” about or better yet choice to forget about. It sucked a lot and it hurt a lot, but God is so good like always and gently swept me into His love and showed me who I am to Him. Ugh He is so good its insane. He told me to rest and just be His daughter. As I kept telling Him I didn’t know how to do that and He gave someone a picture to give to me, and it was the most beautiful thing. I was dancing with God my Father, and I was standing on His toes like a child and we danced as I clung to Him and became totally reliant on Him. He was leading the dance and guided us the whole time- all I had to do was  hold close to Him. He is so sweet and wonderful. All I have to do is stay close to Him and cling to Him and He will lead and guide me with a joyful, affectionate, and devoted heart. Its crazy that as much as I am devoted to our relationship, He is so much more devoted. He showed me in another vision how excited He is to cheer me on, and how He brags about me, how He is so so proud to call me His daughter. How cool is that? I can trust Him. I can trust Him to gently carry my heart. I can trust that He is not gonna hurt me. I can trust that His love has no strings attached. I can trust that He will love and treat me with perfect fatherly love. I can trust that all I have to do is be a daughter, rest in His arms, and He will teach me the rest. I can trust that as much as I enjoy spending time with Him, He enjoys spending time with me that much more. As much as I love His presence, He loves my presence more. I can trust that He really does care how my day is and how I am doing. I can trust that I do not need to fear anything because His love is perfect. I can trust that taking care of me is a joy and not a burden. I can trust Him and I will trust Him. He is my good Father, my Abba, and I belong to Him.

This is perfect love. 

This is Fatherly love. 

God the Father in love with me. 

This love I can trust. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

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I have been so lost in Jesus that I have lost track of time! My time here in Norway is quickly coming to a close and I will be traveling with a group of people from the school to go and bless others.

Thursday night I felt like I was driving to my own funeral. We were on our way to the first of two intense ministry days, exploring the tabernacle, and laying things down on the altar to the Lord. I knew what I was about to do. I was about to make a declaration to the Lord that I would honor forever- because I love Him and He is worthy. We started with a burnt offering which is an absolute surrender to the Lord. I took up many symbolic sacrifices to give to God. I told Him that I give Him my entire life. I WILL go where He tells me to go, I WILL say what He tells me to say, and I WILL do what He tells me to do.

“But I trust in you, Lord; I say ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands” Psalm 31:14-15

I knew what I was laying down: my rights, my future, my plans, my desires, and my past for Him to heal, and I was happy to do it for my King. For all I knew He could give those things right back to me, but I needed to give Him control of it all.  It was so freeing. We then moved on to sin and guilt offerings; where I repented and was freed from sin that has bound me for years. Man something about public confession, I experienced freedom like I never had before. I am liberated, set free, and completely clean in the eyes of Jesus. I finally let Him in. Fully. I am dead to my old self, and so alive in my new life with Christ.

“Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me” Songs of Solomon 2:13

After this Jesus held me in His arms of grace as I cried at the cross and gave Him my heart and everything I had to offer. He romanced me in His presence and it felt like a marriage ceremony. I had given Him all of me, there is no going back. I made a vow, I am FOREVER His. Wherever He goes I will follow, because we are now one. I signed my life away to Him and I have no regrets because my groom will take care of me, protect me, and love me forever. I am His, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health- even after death we won’t part. After pouring my heart out to Jesus in front of 50 plus people, Jesus took me aside and simply loved on me and told me what he thinks of me: I am pure & clean, I am beautiful, I am important to Him, He is excited to do life with me, I am adventurous, I am free and He will teach me how to walk in His freedom daily, I am perfect the way He has made me, I am called to rule with Him, I am lovely, I am the apple of His eye, I am not worthless or useless, I am not damaged goods, my life has purpose,  I am His bride. I have never felt so secure and confident in my identity. I am no longer defined by my past or my future, my pain, my confusion, my sin, or by the country I am in, but in Jesus Christ who has made me new and clean in Him. I’m liberated and I’m never going back. I WILL learn to walk in this truth and freedom every day.

“When I found the one my heart loves, I held him and would not let Him go” Songs of Solomon 3:4

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If you are reading this please know the truth of what Jesus says and thinks about you:

You are deeply loved, you are precious, you are priceless, your life DOES have purpose, you are wonderfully made, you are beautiful, you are made perfect, clean, and pure in Him, you are His prized possession, you have value, you are a beloved child of God. Christ has triumphed over the power of sin so that you can be free <3

“I will be glad and rejoice in your love” Psalm 31:7

This week Jesus gave me a new perspective of what He has done for me and I will never be the same.

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A covenant is an establishment; it is to be knitted together with the covenant partner. It brings you into a family and is a unity of relationship. Once two people are in covenant they are bound together for life. Covenants cannot be broken. With this new unity comes the exchange of oneself to the other. What’s mine is yours and vice versa. I am in you and you in I. In the Old Testament or old covenant, people would exchange belts which were used for weapons. The exchange of belts represented the covenant partner sharing in the other’s strength; inheriting all that they have – family, power, protection, and destiny. Through other rituals, the partners would promise eternal faithfulness to each other. There is also a covenant scar that continuously reminds them that they are in covenant and oath with each other.

THIS is the relationship we have with God. We are knitted together as one with Him. It is how we are adopted into sonship as His sons and daughters. (Galatians 4:5) This commitment is lifelong and it cannot be broken. God is a faithful covenant partner. He is not a covenant breaker, He cannot be. Because of this covenant relationship all that we are is God’s and all that He is, is ours. He is in us, as we are hidden in Him. We share in his family, power, protection, and destiny- this is our inheritance. However this inheritance did not come at a free price. Jesus’ scarred hands/wrist are the covenant scars constantly reminding everyone in this covenant of the promises and commitment. Before Jesus saved me, I was bound in sin, law, and darkness. My life was purposeless and joyless as I was just waiting for my death sentence. It was no life at all. I was waiting in a jail cell for my turn on death row, with cement walls that could not be broken by my own strength-and I was completely deserving of all of it. I cannot meet the standards the law:

“Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect” Matthew 5:48

“For all have fallen short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

So I am in need of a Savior. The law is not here to scare me or so that I can try to get out of my death trap by striving to work and obey it, but it is simply there to show me my sin and make me aware of my desperate need for help, and my help is Jesus. He came to this earth to save me from the destruction my sins would have caused me. Jesus drank the cup meant for me and the rest of mankind- filled with my sin along with the whole earth’s sin, sickness, abuse, and darkness.

“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20

He became sin and a curse. He took my place and became separated from God for short while. He did not die from the physical pain, but from my sins.

“Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering.” Isaiah 53:4

He conquered death, sin, and satan as He rose on that third day, crushing the walls of sin and shame that separate me from Him. I had been held prisoner by law and sin but Jesus came to the rescue and took it all on so that I could be free and have a relationship with Him, so that I could be in covenant with Him.

Jesus said “It is finished” John 19:30

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Jesus taught me many things through this new revelation, but here are the two that hit me hardest.

I needed to repent and ask for forgiveness for not properly recognizing the intense beauty of the cross. Its been such normality in my life that I became so used to the idea of it and used it more as a ticket to heaven rather than acknowledging what my King went through to rescue me and be with me. This new yet old message of the cross broke me this week and I am learning that it should break me every day. I am in covenant with God because of this sacrifice. It’s everything and I have abused its meaning and lessened its value.

Something else God really broke me with this week was that after being freed of every burden, sin, and shame, I need to keep it off and take on Jesus.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free and do not be entangled again with yoke of bondage” Galatians 5:2

I need to stay free and not get bound up again by things of this world. Jesus went to such great lengths for me to be free, how could I not walk in this freedom? How could I not walk in love and grace that was bought at such a great price but freely given to me. How could I not walk in the joy of the Lord continuously? How could I not serve wholeheartedly? How could I not live the fullest life that Jesus died to give me? Jesus went through too much for me not to live fully in Him.

This week’s topic was the Bible. My group studied the story in Mark 1 where Jesus heals a leper, and at first glance I found nothing new since I had read that story many many times before, but God, being his awesome self, revealed some cool stuff to me and my group.

The leper would have been an outcast. He would have been very lonely because it is probable that no one has payed attention to him, talked to him and definitely not touched him in a while. He would had probably been kicked out of his town and sent to a desolate area because of how contagious the disease is. However, our beautiful King, touches the man, and heals him.

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“Then a leper came to Jesus and began pleading with Him. He fell on his knees and told Him, ‘If you want to, you can make me clean’. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand, touched him and told him ‘I do want to. Be made clean!’. Instantly the leprosy left him and he was clean.” Mark 1:40-42

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Yes it was incredible that he was healed, but I could not help but think that just having Jesus touch him meant the world. He did not just have anyone touch him, but the Messiah. Incredible. This really showed me how personal God is. He wants to know us, and then heal us. He is not just worried about making people clean, but what he desires is relationship. He came close to the man just as He comes close to me. He is not worried about what the people surrounding Him say about Him placing His hands on an unclean person. Instead he makes the leper feel like it is just them two in that moment.  I am unclean. Jesus, the purest of pure, touches me, heals me, and wants a relationship with me. If that is not scandalous love I do not know what it. He makes the leper feel important, loved, and seen, just by a simple touch. Ugh He is so good.

I have felt Jesus’ touch a lot lately, however, in ways that I am not used to. Jesus and I had the best time hanging out at the beach together the other day. It was stormy and beautiful. We spent a couple hours, just us two, walking, laughing, smiling, singing, talking and dancing. At that moment it was just us two, and I felt important, loved, and seen. Today, my friends and I went on a long hike and again in this time I felt that it was just me and God hiking the mountain together, surrounded by His beautiful creation. He told me on that afternoon at the beach to spend this time simply delighting in Him and enjoying my time with Him. While there are a million things happening around, it comforts me knowing that first and foremost God desires to deepen our relationship. He is teaching me to seek Him in my random everyday activities. I do not spend every day laughing with God at the beach or hiking a mountain with Him, but I am learning to pursue Him whether I am walking through the sand, or doing the dishes. I want to get to know Him and seek Him every second of every day. In His presence I am so satisfied. I am quickly learning that He is enough for me. Being with Him is all I need. He is so simple, His love is so simple and He is teaching me how simple delighting in Him is. Its beautiful to be focused daily on just getting to know God more.

It’s my first week here in Norway and let me tell you, the King is here! His presence is changing all of us. The town we live in is called Sola (pronounced Soola) and it is so beautiful. I live very close to the beach so I get to not only wake up to the beach, but also watch the sun rise every morning at 8:30 am. God is showing me who He is through nature. I see Him in the fog, I see Him in the snow, I see Him in the sunset, and I see Him in the birds every time I walk from our base to lunch or gym. We have a pretty packed schedule here but I love getting these special moments when it’s just Him and me.

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“ And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophecy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions”  Joel 2:28

I saw this verse come to life this week. Praise the Lord.

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Our first week of teaching was about getting to know God for who He is rather than who we thought He was or who others had told us He was. I prayed for a revelation of His name which I received in full force. The teacher Tove (pronounced Tovah) explained that to know God is to experience God, and that is exactly what we spent this week doing. The first day was focused on Jesus. We made a fresh surrender to Him as we remembered what He did for us on the cross. Then I just spent some time sitting and resting at His feet. I could have stayed there forever. I love resting with Jesus, for me it really is the best place to be. I was born to worship the King of Kings and I’ll spend my life doing just that. The next day we explored God’s heart and learned about hearing His voice. I was refreshed with my true identity as a child of God and learned how to walk in that. This week God has spoken to me in new ways (which is something I had prayed for so thanks God!). The first time was in a dream where He told me a bit about my future. The next was on a prayer walk. We stopped outside of a daycare/school as we all felt like we were supposed to pray over the facility and the children. We all prayed in our own languages, which is so cool and powerful! I actually felt God’s heart for these kids and saw how they make Him smile. It was incredible. During some intercession, God began to give me many pictures and visions for the people I was praying for. He normally speaks to me in word form so this has been fun and exciting!!

On our last day of teaching, Tove spoke to us about the Holy Spirit. This may have been my favorite day because the Kingdom came like I’ve never seen before. We were encouraged to live a life filled with the Spirit, seeking Him in every situation, following where He leads. We practiced prophesying for each other and it was so cool to see every student seeking the Spirit’s will. We had half the day to simply let the Spirit fill us, move us, and speak to us. We did an exercise called a fire train which is where the staff makes two lines and the students walk through them as they pray and prophecy over us. The words the Lord spoke to me have forever changed me and made this entire last week make a lot more sense. He confirmed things people had spoken over me at home and reminded me of callings I had forgotten about. He touched me in such a sweet way so I went outside for a while to process everything and talk to Him about it. Meanwhile other people’s lives were being changed inside. One of my friends had an injury that caused her pain for a very long time and told me that God had healed her and we both hugged as we cried thankfulness to the Lord. Another friend was getting prayer for her scoliosis. I joyfully joined in. After about 30 minutes of seeing God make the curve in her spine smaller and smaller we got to see Him completely restore her spine right in front of our eyes. God is so good. We all got to rejoice together and pray for others seeking healings as well. These are only two of the stories, but King Jesus was present as healings were happening all around the room, not to mention the inner healings and numerous other testimonies of God moving people’s lives.  Tove was right when she said the Holy Spirit is like potato chips. He came, was so good, and left us thirsty for more! The rest of the day I spent in our prayer room having some quiet time with God, processing all that had happened this week. God is so good and is bringing His Kingdom here in Sola Norway.

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Please let me know if there is any way I can be praying for you! I would love to support you as you all are supporting me even though we are far apart.