peace

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing He makes me life down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul” Ps 23: 1-3

These past couple months have been INSANE. Lots of good things and lots of hard things. But through it all, Ive seen the faithfulness of the Lord like never before. He’s speaking a lot lately and I’m not mad about.

Because this place is a constant source of chaos, its easy to feel overwhelmed. Recently, I have asked God so many times to help calm the anxiety, stress, and worries that cloud my mind daily. His response- “rest”. I didn’t like that. Resting wasn’t gonna help get all the work done. Resting wasn’t going to reach all the men and women being exploited. Resting wasn’t going to help us build relationships with those being trafficked. Boy was I wrong. Resting, being still, & dwelling, has saved my sanity these days. Jesus revealed to me that if I can’t get myself to stop working and worrying and stressing, it shows that I’m not trusting Him. If I really think that I can’t take take a day off because all these girls out here need me, that is showing God that I don’t trust Him to take care of them. If I can stop stressing about ‘S’, a girl I so desperately want to join our program, if I stop doing everything in my power to get her to come to school, if I stop obsessing, stressing, and loosing sleep over her safety, it shows that I finally trust that God to take care of her. Her leaving the bars is not in my power anyways. God is doing the heavy lifting, He is the one doing the hard work. He is the one saving. He is the one changing hearts. I’m just a participant, which means I can stop. I can do all that I can do in one day and then I can rest. When I am in the mindset that I am going to fix it all and get all these girls out of prostitution and into our program- of course I’m going to feel the pressure, of course I’m going to feel overwhelmed, of course I’m going to think there is no time to rest. but when I know that God is doing the work, that He’s taking care of it & doing the heavy lifting, I can rest because these girls’ well being is not dependent on me. The pressure is off. I do what my father says, and then I rest.

“Im so forgetful but you always remind me, your the only one who brings me peace.”  ~United Pursuit

I’m finding Him in a way I could only find him if I’ve come to the end of my rope. I have found that I cannot do this in my own strength, this work will destroy me. If I’m constantly thinking that its up to me to save these girls, of course I’m not going to sleep. He’s showing me that its possible to live in perfect peace amongst the abundant chaos – because He is the Prince of Peace. I’m beginning to realize that the chaos here is not going to stop anytime soon so instead of trying to pray it away, I need to learn to dwell with the Lord in the midst of it. Being found solely in His love, living in the secret place. I’ve come to learn that when I allow myself to rest, trusting that God is going to take care of everything while I do, I can sleep and breathe, knowing He sustains me and He sustains them. I have to have boundaries. I have to stop working long enough to remember who sustains me. Remember who is running the whole show. I have to breathe deep the name of Jesus. I have to stop many times throughout the day and look into His eyes and just say His name. I have to say ‘no’ more often. Its not always easy because its giving up control. Giving up doing everything myself and letting God do what He does best. Letting Him be the star here. It’s stopping, looking at His face, and choosing to rest, to be still, and to praise Him for what he is doing. Because He is bringing home the victories.

“You go before I know, that you’ve already gone to win my war. You come back with the head of my enemy, and you call it my victory. and all I did was praise”  – Upper Room Music

Through resting and choosing to be still and reconnect my heart with Jesus’ more frequently- we have seen Him bring home the most insane victories. Our outreach team, for the first time, was able to help an internationally trafficked woman come to safety. Now she is safe with us and we are working to repatriate her to her home country very soon. This is something I have been praying for for seven months now and it only happened when I gave up control. When I gave up trying to do it all myself.  It was only because of Jesus that we randomly met her on the street. It was only because of Jesus that she trusted us enough to call us for help, and that she felt safe enough to actually accept our help. On top of this beautiful miracle, our Shear Love class for 2019 is overflowing with students! We have never had more than seven beauty students and we already have thirteen confirmed for next year! That’s something only Jesus could do. and the craziest thing is that we didn’t know most of these girls until they showed up to interview. It wasn’t in our team’s efforts that they came, but it was Jesus speaking to their hearts and setting up super duper divine appointments to get them here. God’s plan for these girl’s lives will not be stopped. He knows exactly who is supposed to come to school and he will make it happen. and thats why I can rest, because He cannot be stopped. He is running the show. None of this is up to me. The pressure is off. And its so beautiful because as these victories were rolling in, I wasn’t stressing, I wasn’t worrying about doing everything perfectly- because Jesus was the one doing it. I’m seeing that what I’ve been trying to, I can’t do. I can’t change the hearts of others, I can’t create divine appointments, I have no way of knowing who is ready to join our program- but Jesus does and can and He is doing just that. The pressure is off because those things simply aren’t in my strength or capability, so I might as well stop trying to do it and trust Him and do what I can do – which is love well and pray alot, and know thats where my job ends. And I’m telling y’all I’m sleeping better these nights than I have in years. Im not waking up with anxiety about everything I need to do, I’m not going to sleep worrying that I might miss a message from girl on outreach. I’m resting because I know my Father has this, He has them.

“I lie down and sleep;
    I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” ps 3:5

I rest because Jesus rested. Jesus was fricken sleeping in the storm- in the middle of the chaos. He wasn’t worried or anxious- because He knew who was in control. Through all of this, I am realigned with my true purpose in life- its not to fix everyone’s lives or save girls from trafficking, Its loving Jesus and loving His people and watching Him come through with victories. Its that simple.  Through the resting and connecting my heart to His again- I have fallen in love with Him all over again. Its like the first time I met Him. Im all giddy again. Because I’m where I belong- in His presence– not stressing or worrying. Spending time with Him has to be my biggest priority because its what sustains me. I won’t survive here if I don’t. He’s sustaining me, He’s renewing me, & He’s refreshing me. I tell Him when I’m worrying about something and then I rest because I know He has the power to do something about it.

no more striving just abiding

I am loving this season- in all its crazy, in all its chaos, its bringing me to the most beautiful place with the Lord. The most liberating surrender. The most refreshing breathes. “Come away with me” He says, the sweetest invitation.  I can rest because I know He’s got this. He’s going to bring home the victories and all I have to do is praise, be still and trust Him. He’s lifting my load. The pressure is off. Thank you Jesus

“I could sit with you for days, I could sit with you forever. No one could love me better” ~Jesus Worldwide Music