God is literally so sweet. When I first began looking into YWAM, i of course read their mission’s statement which is “to know God and make Him known”. As much as i wanted to be a part of this exciting mission, i began to ask God the question: Do i really know you? The answer i got back was a little frightening. No i did not know God. Of course i knew him, but not on the level that i desired. God gently told me not to worry (as He usually does) because He desires for me to know Him and He cannot be stopped. So there i go applying for the DTS knowing that i am about to enter an incredible time of getting to know God. i had faith of this because He told me, but i was not prepared as to how i would really get to know Him.
While He used many different means for me to understand His magnificent character, my favorite was through my dog, Derbee. Now Derbee and i have been through a lot together. She has been there for my roughest as well as my happiest times. God showed me who He was through little Derp, who already means the world to me. I first noticed this creative way God was speaking to me on a chilly morning. i woke up cuddling with Derp as i usually do and i just looked at her as i began to think about how much i love her, how much i want to spend time with her, and how, that morning, she was the first thing on my mind. However, she has done nothing to deserve this endless adoration. That’s when it hit me, this is how God feels about me. Every morning His eyes are on me before i even wake up. He’s always thinking about me, wanting to spend time with me, loving me beyond understanding even though i have done absolutley nothing to deserve this. This is grace and now i know this grace.
Another time, and probably the time it hit me the most occurred was probably about a month ago. It had been a hard month for me due to my overwhelming to do list, school, work, and preparing to leave. I constantly had freak outs about leaving, worrying about finances along with a lot more. This particular day i was taking Derbee to the vet to get a shot. I was holding her in my arms as she was squirming all over the place. That’s when i spoke to her “Derbee, have i never not taken care of you? Don’t be afraid, you are going to be okay.” And that’s when God spoke to me “Julianne, have i never not taken care of you? Do not be afraid, you are going to be (more than) ok”. As the weeks go on and i tell Derbee to relax about different situations, God continuously tells me to relax because He has got me in His arms just as I have Derbee in my arms.
The last incident i will share was about two weeks ago. i was trying to put sheets on my bed and then Derbee jumps on it. I tell Derp “you are going to make this harder, but i want to be with you and spend time with you so its worth it”. That is when the Lord spoke the same exact phrase to me, humbling me instantly. The mission He has called me to is exciting, and even though He could easily do it on His own, avoiding a lot of mess; He daily calls me to it because He wants to do it together.
This display of God’s character through my relationship with my dog is almost daily and it sparks me every time. Jesus has shown me His kind, gracious, faithful, and loving character and i am stunned. i am left in awe daily as He tells me how much He loves me, shows me that He is going to take care of me, and desires to spend time with me. He is so so sweet. And now, three months later, i can truthfully say that i know God, and i am excited to get to know Him more as i leave the country in just three short weeks. i cannot wait for King Jesus to take me deeper in to this journey.
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