“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ´Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it but whoever loses their life for me will find it” Matthew 16:24-25
Outreach is half way over and my time here in Colombia is quickly drawing to a close. If God has taught me one thing during this time, it would be the beauty of giving up my rights and dying to my flesh daily. I thought I knew what all of this meant , but God has shown me something much deeper. The last five weeks have shown me what picking up my cross and denying myself actually looks like.
One huge way God has been gently revealing this truth to me is showing me that my time is not my own. After leaving Cyprus, we had a long layover in Germany and naturally I was ecstatic to finally get some alone time. I bought a coffee and started journalling and reading my Bible. I was spending some quality time with Jesus when a man sits farther down the table. I had asked God earlier that week to provide divine appointments with people while I was traveling. Everything in me screamed ´talk to him, just say something, anything´. Remembering what I had asked God for earlier I struck up a conversation with the man. What started off as a shallow conversation about the coffee ended with Him accepting Jesus as Lord! WHAT?! God is so good! This man was so interested about my story and things God has revealed to me. I got to share my testimony and how God has healed me, made me whole, and set me free through love. I shared the pain, the hurt, and the reality of my past but it quickly led to how God has made beauty from my brokenness. So no, I did not get the quiet time my flesh longed for, but my spirit was more than satisfied that a soul found Jesus´redemptive and personal love. So whether it be at an airport trying to get some alone time, or at the grocery just trying to quickly buy some food; I will be open to the Spirit interrupting my schedule for His glory.
The Lord is also teaching me how to rise above my fleshy emotions by choosing not to participate in them. Sounds pretty weird but its legit. My third day in Colombia, my phone was stolen out of my pocket. Huge bummer. Naturally I was upset, frustrated, confused, and annoyed. I got a new phone shipped to my address in Colombia but because of corruption and a ban on phones entering the country we have still yet to obtain the phone. It´s been sitting at the fed ex 30 minutes away for 3 weeks and every time we try to get it, they come up with another excuse why we cannot have it. So now I will be flying to a random country with no phone. Because I am human I have felt completely frustrated throughout this situation, but God has shown me that I cannot stay there. I cannot sit in my frustration and shut down. Theres work to be done, people to be told the truth that Jesus loves them. I have learned that because I am in this world it is natural to feel these emotions, but because I am not of this world I have a higher calling to rise above and not let my fleshly issues affect my ministry. Its crazy that the moment I give it to God, He shows up in the most awesome ways and I am not distracted or held down by it anymore, being able to focus on the task at hand.
Something else of the flesh I have been struggling with is weariness. Naturally after doing constant ministry and traveling for five weeks my body becomes tired. One day in Cartagena we were doing some mall evangelism and I was not feeling it. I was tired after a day of traveling, I was sweaty because of the humidity and I did not want to participate. That´s when God reminded me that I have a choice, I can operate in my fleshly strength or I can operate in His perfect strength. Right after I decided to rely on His strength and refreshment we saw Him move in incredible ways. We prayed for a lady who had a back and knee brace and watched tears stream down her face as God healed her body and completely took away her pain. It was the most beautiful sight. It´s crazy how giving up my right to these crazy emotions actually sets me free!
One right that I have to continuously give up is my right to comfort. Comfort on all levels, from my living and sleeping conditions to spontaneously being asked to host a church service. With our time in Colombia, God has challenged me to minister with the people here whether I have a translator or not. It is not the most comfortable thing to go up to someone knowing about 15 words in their language asking if you can pray for them, but God shows up each time whether I know what they are saying to me or not. We once had about a 20 minute notice that we were going to be hosting most of a church service. It is not the most comfortable thing to sit through worship and have God tell you to stand up and give a word to the people about personal things God has healed me from, but again so many people encountered God after I shared what God had shared with me for the people. One by one they came up to me after the service asking for prayer, I had no idea what they wanted prayer for but I felt God´s heart for each and every one of them. When I give up my right to feel comfortable I give room for God to move through me to His people.
We have a higher calling than just living the human life and settling for these rights and emotions. There is so much more freedom when you lay them down and are not hindered by the baggage they entail. When you dare to step into your higher calling, God can use you for amazing glory in His Kingdom.
It´s my J O Y to lay it down, I give it all to you.
