Julianne

Beautiful Mess

After living in the sex tourism capital of the world for three weeks, today is the first day I feel like I can begin to adequately write about some of what has been going on.

Here in Pattaya Thailand I am working with an organization called Shear Love International that helps provide educational opportunities for people desiring to leave the sex industry. They offer a beauty and barber school to train men and women to be certified in hair dressing; therefore giving them the opportunity for a better future. While I have been here I have been doing an assortment of jobs including English teaching and social media admin, but most heavily I’ve been going on bar outreach. This is what God has laid on my heart for a while now and He brought me here in perfect timing to join the outreach team. We have been going to the bars (which all double as brothels) to find students for the next school year of Shear Love. People that are trapped in this industry but desire to leave. While there are people trafficked here from all over the world, a lot of the Thai people working in the bars or streets are there because they have no other options. They have children and families they need to provide for and because a lot of them are uneducated and the demand for sex in this city is so high- countless men and women come here from all over Thailand to find work- some coerced and lied to, others sold by their parents at a young age, and still others coming knowing full well what is to come. After walking the streets of the red light district countless times I have seen unthinkable things, I have heard some of the most gut wrenching stories, and I have experienced some of the most uncomfortable situations. Still yet, as the Lord continues to reveal to me His heart for this place, I have seen some of the most beautiful transformations, heard some of the most intensely God glorifying testimonies, and experienced some of the most hopeful moments.

One night after we walked through the red light district, we met for a prayer and worship night in the top floor of a building overlooking what is known to be the worst street in Pattaya. That night I let the horrors break me. I remember as we were praying and worshiping from late that night to early morning, I began to realize the severity of sex trafficking, the intensely intimidating reality. As I was crying out to God we were singing “I give it all to you God trusting that you’ll make something beautiful out of me”. I heard God speaking to me saying that I need to trust Him to make something beautiful out of this. This horrible mess. I remember Him asking me to let go of control and trust that He will in fact make something wonderful out of Pattaya. Out of these streets. Out of each person involved in the human trafficking happening here. And as a sweet friend reminded me tonight, God can only make beautiful things, He cannot make anything that’s ugly. So when He is working, it has to be toward something good and beautiful!

There are some days I feel okay and think maybe I’ve gotten the hang of this place but then there’s other days like today where it all hits at once. Where I wake up with the heaviest heart remembering all that I’ve seen and heard in the streets, bars, and brothels in the past week. I’m thankful God has called me to minister in literally one of the darkest places on earth. I come alive in the bars when I’m talking to the girls that are selling themselves. While my heart breaks for them, I’m so honored that God has trusted me with the task of being their friends, encouraging them, and sharing His intentional love with them. I’m still struggling with a lot however. Like how to have grace and love for the five Indian men that just purchased one girl for the night. Or how to process seeing the mother that’s selling clothes on the side of the road also willing to sell her own daughter if someone asked. Or perhaps how to react when a man approaches you thinking you’re for sale. It’s a lot and I don’t know what I’m doing half the time but I’m beyond honored to be here working along God to make something incredibly beautiful and wonderful out of this place.

So I’m learning to trust His promise that He’s making it all new. That He is working for good even when all I see is terrified girls doing what they can to keep them and their children alive, and men that think these people are mere objects that they can purchase and abuse. I’m learning to trust that God has not surrendered this city or these streets or ANY of these people. They are all still His. Trusting that He is still the God of this city. Still in control. Still with full authority. And that He sure will make something incredibly beautiful out of this.

There’s no shadow You won’t light up, mountain you wont climb up- coming after (them).

No wall you kick down, lie you won’t tear down- coming after (them).

courage

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9

A lot of people have told that I have so much bravery and courage and the majority of the time I reply with “well I don’t really feel like it”, because there are many times I feel so weak and afraid. I don’t feel brave or courageous I feel scared because this call, this journey seems too hard at times.

I used to think courage meant not being afraid or weak. Now I know it means going and doing despite the fear or weakness; walking through the fear and weakness into His mighty and loving promises. When fear comes we have two choices. We can sit in our fear and try not to let it devour us while it hinders us from going after our dreams or we can walk in faith towards the dreams and passions God has laid upon our hearts. The ones who chooses to walk in faith might still have fear but they just choose not to listen to it, not to entertain it. They choose to focus more on the God of truth than the enemy of lies and fear. That is courage. That is the courage I long to have. The courage I’m asking Jesus to help me attain cause I cannot do it on my own.

You who holds the stars, who calls them each by name will surely keep Your promises to me that I will rise in your victory. -Bethel Music

God has been speaking a lot to me about my future. And although it seems a bit scary and I’m realizing the reality, depth, and intensity of the task He has called me to, I’m choosing to go and be strong & courageous despite these fears, hardships, and pain. To go despite the fear and weakness- not letting it stop me or hold me back from all that God has prepared.

“Get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them- the Israelites. I will give you every place where you set your foot. As I promised Moses” Joshua1:2-3

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” Joshua 1:5-6

God is telling Joshua here that Moses has died so He is now giving Joshua the task of leading His people to the promise land. He is telling Him to get ready and go despite the fear I’ m sure he had. can you imagine that task and how scared he felt? but he said yes to the call despite all of that and trusted that God would rise strength and courage in him to go and lead His people on.

It’s time to get ready. To let God prepare me, train me, strengthen me to courageously lead His people back to Him.

For those of you struggling with fear, do not let the fear win. Don’t let fear stop you from running after the dreams and passions God has given you. Run after them, run after Him while you throw off the fear and let the arms of love embrace you and build courage and strength in you. He has such a mighty purpose for your life.

“I can feel the drum of your heartbeat, calling us to be you hands and feet. Rising up with courage in our hearts to carry out your love to the hardest and the dark” Take Courage- Lindy Conant

His heart

I’m sitting in a coffee shop trying to collect my thoughts. Trying to process what I’ve seen and heard. Trying to comprehend the horrific realities I’ve seen recently. Trying not to break down crying in yet another public place.

The other night I was went out with a group into the street, bars, and clubs to encourage and bring truth to the prostitutes and strippers in this place. To tell them that they are loved and precious. To make friends, have conversations, and treat them like real humans. These girls were so warm and loving and welcoming. Each one of them was so excited to see us! I had a conversation with one girl and simply told her that she is so loved and so beautiful and she couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t believe it for herself. It pained me to see this reality, her reality. She is my age.

Another day this week I got to go to prison and visit an inmate from Thailand with the sole purpose of being her friend and sharing God’s heart for her. She was so sweet as we chatted, laughed, and prayed. I can’t wait to meet her again this week.

Today I got to help with a ministry that works with kids in the area. We teach them, we love them, and we minister God overflowing heart to them. Today I was informed that a good amount of these kids are not going to school and will likely never go back. God’s own children growing up without an education fully vulnerable for who knows what.

God has been breaking my heart for His people, His precious people, the ones that are lost and don’t know their magnificent Creator.

“There is no greater love than this to lay down ones life for a friend” John 15:13

He’s given me a whole new revelation of this verse. He laid down His life, His comforts, His everything so that I may know His heart, so that they may know His heart. I feel this passion stirring deep in my heart to lay down my life, my comforts, my desires, for these girls, for the lost, for the prostitutes, for the trafficked, for the hurting, the orphans, the abused, the convicts, the abandoned, & the broken- whoever God calls me to. He’s chasing them and they don’t even know it. When Jesus whispers His heart for me into my ears, I melt a little more each time but then He says, you know my heart, you know this truth, but they still do not. He laid down His life for them and I’m prepared to do the same.

“I can see your heart eight billion different ways. Every one a precious child to save. If you laid down your life to love them so will I” -Hillsong United

In two weeks I’ll be heading to Thailand to continue the call to reaching the lost and fighting against human trafficking. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with what God is doing there? You can use the link below if you feel led to give.

https://www.grouprev.com/indonesiapt2

YES

Whatever it takes, whatever it costs, I live for one thing and its Jesus

It’s so crazy to be back in Bali where it all started just a little over a year ago. Last summer I left the country for the first time and flew to Bali, Indonesia because God told me to. Today I am back in Bali after being to 13 different countries. I could have never imagined what that one, simple “yes” brought about. My “yes” to go to an interest meeting about a missions trip to Indonesia eventually led to this crazy adventure I call my life.

I spent some time on the beach today reflecting on this past year and what has happened since the last time I was here in Bali. SO much has happened its simply incredible. I am a completely new person, with a completely new love, understanding, and adoration for the King. He has set me free, broken me down, built me up, and broken me down yet again- and I love it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. He has called me by my true name-His daughter, knowing nothing else matters but my belonging to Him. Last time I was in Bali, I prayed for someone for the first time, and now its my passion to spread His name and pray for His people. It’s so crazy, what once made me so uncomfortable and scared is now where I come alive. A year ago I don’t think I had ever shared the gospel with anyone, but now I cant seem to go a week without letting it spill out of my mouth to the person next to me at the coffee shop. Its my joy. In the past year I have both cried and laughed more than I ever have in my life. I’ve met some of the most God-fearing and Jesus loving people I’ve ever known. I’ve let the cross break me anew each morning as I fall more and more in love with Jesus even though I didn’t know it was possible. I’ve married Jesus, become best friends with Holy Spirit, and experienced God as the most kind and caring Father my soul could ever need. I’ve hitchhiked, I’ve road tripped, and I’ve been on almost 40 flights. I’ve slept on church floors, airport floors, and storage closets. and its been the best! God has given me the best friendships and memories I could never deserve. A year ago I hadn’t left America, now God has taken me to 4 continents. And it all started with a very simple ‘yes’.

and boy am I ready for another year of saying ‘YES’ to His call.

YES to diving deeper into His love and His name

YES to taking risks

YES to the challenges

YES to the things that make me uncomfortable

YES to letting Him unravel me more and more everyday

YES to new adventures

YESSSSSSSS to reaching the lost

YES to discipling the saved

YES to loving the orphans

YES to laying down my life & rights so others might hear the truth of their Creator’s love for them.

YES YES YES

I am completely ruined for the ordinary and its best feeling ever.

There is no greater joy than to love You with all I have
No greater love than this, than to lay down my life
‘Cause I have found a love that is worthy of all I have
I’m giving all I am for this pearl of great price

I cannot deny where You lead me is the narrow road
And I’ll take any step to go where You go
The fire in Your eyes has caught me in a sweet escape
There is no turning back, forever my heart will say that I lay it all down -Lindy Conant

(yall should check out her music just sayin)

unstoppable

“oh God here am I send me, use me for your glory- I’ll go anywhere, I’ll do anything”

These are the words I have been singing to God for almost a year now, and He took me up on the offer. I recently arrived back to Indonesia and am living at an orphanage. The last ten days have been maybe the hardest days of my life. I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m not. However, that’s not what this post is about because I offered my life to The Lord to use me where He finds most fit, the place that He wants my help with, the people that need to encounter His love. He has brought me to the biggest Muslim country in the world, with the most intense spiritual warfare I have ever experienced, where there’s not a fluent English speaker in sight to talk or connect with. Its hard, there’s no denying it, but I told Him I would go anywhere He needed me, and I am starting to see the purpose behind my time here.

“I can feel the drum of your heartbeat, calling us to be our hands and feet. Rising up with courage in our hearts, to carry out your love to the h a r d e s t and the d a r k”-Lindy Conant

The other day God gave me a picture which has given me a lot of clarity. When this vision started all I saw were wings of an eagle that I knew were God’s. I was underneath the wings where He was fixing me up, dusting me off, and making me look completely new. Then He opened His wings and I flew out as high as I could into the sky, where nothing could stop me – looking more strong and beautiful than ever. He joined me in the sky as we flew all around together. When I was under His wings, it was dark, unknown, and sometimes a little scary. I had no idea what he was doing or what was happening because I couldn’t see anything. I felt completely out of control. He was cleaning, refining, and strengthening me with His strength. Even though the process was messy, confusing, and painful,I would be able to do a lot more and fly higher because of that process. He knows what he is doing, He is not worried, not pressed for time. He takes His time with me to make me the beautiful, strong eagle I was always meant to be, so I can fly with Papa where most don’t dare to go. I can fly with Him, and together we will be unstoppable.

Even though during this season I feel completely in the dark, not having a clue whats happening, what He is doing, or how long ill be here, I can trust that what He is doing in me is good and is for my good. I can trust that His wings are safe like He says they are. I can trust that the process is important so I can become more like Him, strong in Him, and more able to rule with Him than I ever have been. He is stripping away everything I’ve ever known- comfort, food, community, security, control, and safety so that I can become fully reliant on Him, fully satisfied in Him, and fully content with Him despite the circumstances. He is stripping these things away because without them I am stronger, and they won’t be able to hinder me anymore.

“ As I dwell up here where the air is clear. Where the light is bright and there’s no more fear, I know my place, I know my name, I know you’ve called me to great things”- United Pursuit

I now see that through this process and season of hardships, I am going to learn to fight through the spiritual battle. I now see that during this season I will experience things and learn things that will change me forever. My cry is that through this, I grow a sincere, steadfast, and unshakable faith. That as I make it through the suffering and come out on the other side into the light and beauty of the clear sky, I will be unstoppable for the Kingdom. Nothing in the spiritual or physical realm can hinder me.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self discipline” 2 Timothy 1:7

So its okay that I am getting attacked because that means that the enemy is upset that the Kingdom is advancing and I’m getting hit because I’m a part of that. So its okay, I’m not gonna stop any time soon. And its okay that in this season I am suffering, physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I find it a real honor to suffer with Jesus for the sake of the Kingdom. I am learning to genuinely rejoice in the suffering because He is worth it, and its worth advancing the Kingdom even if I am uncomfortable, sad, or lonely. We are all called to carry our cross. To pick up that death instrument and carry it up to the place of execution with Jesus. I had always heard that, but now I realize that I am carrying my cross right next to Jesus. He is in the suffering, what an honor to carry my cross with Him by my side. To partake in that suffering for a little while. To walk through it and say not even the biggest Muslim country in the world can stop me. Not even the roughest conditions can hinder me. Not even complete isolation can impede on the work God is doing in and through me. “After this trip, season, experience, you’ll be unstoppable for the Kingdom” these are the words God has been speaking to me and I believe Him.

“Consider if pure joy, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance” James 1:2-3

“Come what may, I will obey, I find my j o y in bringing you praise” -Lindy Conant

“We will go till the whole world know that Jesus is alive, we will run burning with your love and fire in our eyes” I wont stop, I cant stop.

secret place

Rest. Jesus has been speaking to me a lot about rest lately. In Indonesia He told me that if I don’t slow down I will crash and it won’t be pretty. So I took His advice and took two weeks off in Hong Kong to recover from and process through the last seven months. I needed Jesus to show up in this time because I left my close knit, supportive community from DTS, then I left my crazy amazing Indo team, and then finally I left my extraordinary and loving sisters. I needed Him to be my community, my team, and my friend, and not that this surprises me in any but He did, but not how I expected.

In these last two weeks, I’ve had the most incredible time with Jesus. I have found, or rather He has revealed to me this secret place with Him. It’s the sweet, simple, yet most extravagant place with Him. Where He takes me as I am, where I don’t have to do anything but receive what He has for me. Where I just get to relax and bask in His fiery love for me. It’s where I feel most safe, most known, most loved, and most secure. It’s this place where He and I become one and nothing else in this world matters because we are enough for each other. Where I don’t have to strive, or rush, or worry. Where I can just rest in His arms, at His feet, or in His embrace. Whether it’s laying at His feet for hours listening to His love songs over me, or a rainy rooftop dance party rejoicing in our intense love for each other. In these moments of pure freedom and bliss He makes me feel so special, so loved, so treasured, and so worth His time. I mean how could I not fall more and more in love with Him by the second.

This is the rest that my soul, my body, my mind has been longing for. It’s the rest in His secure love that He is all I need. That He will take care of me. That as much as I want to run around the world sharing His beautiful name, first and foremost I need to simply rest, worship, and soak in His love. I need Him to refill me so I don’t run dry when I’m pouring out.

Guys it’s time we slow down, rest, and receive His mercy and trust that He knows what is best for us. As I head back into full time ministry He is challenging me to make this secret place a lifestyle, a part of my everyday life, because without it I’m going to crash and I won’t be able to pour out His love to others if I don’t let Him pour it out on me first. I now know that this sweet rest is deeply important and I need to make time for it even on the busiest days. It deserves to have priority in my schedule. He deserves to have priority in my schedule, my life, and my heart.

I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hands lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat.

victory

The other night here in Hong Kong, we marched around the red light district seven times announcing the Kingdom and claiming Jesus’ victory over this place. Over these lives. He is victorious so we are victorious through Him. God has been teaching me a lot about his victory and what that means for us.

A couple weeks ago when I was in Indonesia, my team and I witnessed freedom being spread like never before. Chains breaking, burdens lifting, and captives set free. Now spiritual warfare is a very real thing even though sometimes we westerners like to water it down. It’s real. It’s intense. But it doesn’t have to be scary because we know the Victor. As we traveled from island to island we saw demons, spirits, and curses flee at the name of Jesus, as freedom, life, and truth filled the individuals once bound by darkness. One day during a house visit we got the privilege to pray for a young girl who had some generational stuff going on, and as we were just asking God to bring His kingdom, His perfect, peaceful, loving, and joyous Kingdom, the girl passed out. It was the most beautiful thing as we saw her fall into Jesus’ and simple lay at His feet as He took care of the rest. All she had to do was rest in Him and He did everything else. Isn’t that just so sweet? The rest of us continued to declare freedom over her as we sang hallelujah and amazing grace. It was so evident that we were really in a war, fighting for life. Fighting for freedom. Fighting with Jesus for this individual. And in that moment, heaven opened up, the Kingdom fell on earth as she woke up and immediately lifted her hands to Jesus. All together we celebrated Jesus’ victory through her. We celebrated freedom. We celebrated a new beginning. We celebrated Jesus, and we thanked Him taking it on the cross so she didn’t have to take it on earth. He has overcome.

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

We are in a war its true, and we have to fight for the nation, for the city, for the individual, and for ourselves. But we aren’t fighting for victory, but from victory, which makes it exciting since we know the outcome. The battle in America could quite possibly look very different than the battle in Asia, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. We have a very real and mean enemy that wants to destroy us, but we know the Victor and we can rejoice because we share in His victory over all darkness and evil. And that is the exciting thing.

It is truly such an honor that Jesus trusts me enough to use me as vessel all over the world to help Him set captives free and see freedom reign.

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you” Luke 10:19

True

In the last three months I have been to 12 countries, flown on 24 flights, and haven’t slept in the same place for more than 2 weeks at a time. During these travels there have been times when it’s hard to find God, hard to feel Him, and hard to continue honestly. There’s times when direction is the hardest thing to find, and clarity seems non existent. Times when I begin to wonder if this is where I am suppose to be, if this is truly the life God has called me to. But He’s always there pointing me in the right direction, calling me back to Him, and drawing me closer to Him than ever. He is my north, constant and true, never changing and never will. As long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him as He guides my heart to match His heart. His heart for His people, for me, for us all to know Him, for my present, and my future. He shows me time after time that I can rely on Him to be true, to be there as He helps me not be shaken by this wavering world, but held in His unwavering hands, constant in my chasing after true north. He will guide me, shepherd me, all I have to do is follow-open and willing for Him to take me on my wildest adventure yet, whatever it may look like.

God has been teaching me a lot about truth, and my passion for others to know the Truth and His mighty love for them. For people to know their identity in Jesus, that He has taken everything on the cross so we can be free. Free from shame, guilt, fear, and all the hardships from our past. The truth is that we are not meant to carry any of that, it’s too heavy, it’ll crush us, which is why Jesus took it for us. The truth is that God’s love for us is so extravagant, we can’t even fathom it. He is proud of us, proud to call each one of us His child. He brags about us, isn’t that crazy? Before we’ve done anything, He is pleased. The truth is that he is our true north, the one that if we follow Him, we will be led where He wants us which is ultimately closer and closer to Him. A future so great we could not create on our own. A security in Him we could only dream about. The truth is that I’m so in love with Jesus and so in love with this freedom that I cannot keep quiet, I can’t not go. There are so many people out there that don’t know this love, this freedom, this truth; I can’t not tell.

Now I have no idea what this passion will lead to, but He will guide my heart, dreams, and passions, to align with His, and when I need to know, He will make sure I know.

“my times are in your hands…” PS 31:15

wrecked.

Jesus, the last sixth months have completely ruined me, wrecked me beyond measure. You have taught me to love deeper and live freer than I could have ever imagined possible. You have rooted me in my identity with you so that nothing can shake me, so that I truly believe that no other opinion or words have a hold on who I am. You have taught me to lay down my rights- all of them, with a joyful and excited heart to see what you can do with open hands. I now see the beauty in serving others’ needs before my own, because it causes me to rely on you more. I sit here in this airplane with tears in my eyes because of the immense way you have completely transformed my life, my world. Breaking down everything I thought I knew to open up to the truth of who you are and what you have done, leaving me thankful and in awe of how desperately I have fallen in love with you. You have reached the deepest and most painful parts of my heart to heal and mend me and then break me down more- all because you love me too much to be in a state that’s anything but free. You have given me people who have cared for me and loved me deeper than maybe I have ever felt before, and have given me an understanding of the importance and beauty of community. You have held me, danced with me, sang over me, cheered for me, overwhelmed me, married me, and most important: let me experience your love on a level I could have never thought of. I know you Jesus, I know what you have done for me and for others. I’ve caught a glimpse of your love and how you see me, but I want to know you more. I can never get enough of you and your sweet goodness. You leave me in awe of you as you’ve showed me the joy of worshiping in spirit and truth, and as much as I am a lover of your presence, you are even more a lover of my presence. I leave Norway feeling closer, freer, more alive, and more in love with you than I ever have felt before. You have blessed me beyond belief. I will head to Indonesia a completely new person that I hope no one will recognize. I cannot wait to spread your glorious name throughout this nation. I cannot wait to disciple the people I meet with the truth and revelations you have given me. You have given me a passion for people, for souls, to encounter you, to experience true freedom, to catch a glimpse of your perfect love. I don’t know what Asia holds for me, but I can honestly say I am not afraid. I don’t’ know what life after Asia will look like, but I can honestly say I am not overwhelmed, but excited at the fact that my life is an adventure with you, knowing you more, and spreading your love every day. Sweet Jesus, you have completely wrecked me, in the best way, and I would have it no other way.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” Proverbs 31:25

ten.

I am officially in my tenth and final week of outreach. It has been a crazy ride, backpacking in seven different countries including: Cyprus, Colombia, Mexico, Canada, and England. I have seen God move in miraculous ways from people being healed at malls and coffee shops, to refugees being saved at a sports event. Throughout this incredible adventure I have learned so many things and God has really revealed so much to me! I thought I would celebrate our tenth week of outreach with ten things I have learned in this time.

God takes care of His children.

Just a couple hours upon arriving to our first destination (Cyprus) we opened an envelope basically telling us we were going to a country called Cyprus, we have one contact, and a place to stay for two nights. From there we needed to seek God and see what we were to do. This really threw me into my reality for the next 2 and a half months. This was going to be my life and it freaked me out alittle bit, but God is SO faithful and took complete care of us. We got connections the morning after we got there because we felt God was telling us to go to a local church first thing in the morning. There we met a team on outreach from a base in Scotland. We also found out that day that the one email given to us was the wrong email and we knew we had to be out of the hotel the next day. None of this shook us however because God provided all we needed that next day; a place to lay our heads for the next two weeks and many solid contacts. From then on we had days packed with fruit filled ministry. I truly learned how to fully rely on Jesus and I´m never going back to being worried and scared that He won´t take care of me.

2. God loves to give His kids good things.

I think this has been one of the biggest lessons our team has learned on outreach: the art of receiving. God has blessed us immensely throughout outreach. He has taken my team places that I could have never imagined: Mediterranean Sea, Andes Mts, Caribbean Sea, Rocky Mts, and Niagara Falls! Not only were we blessed to see these amazing landscapes, but we had the privilege to declare God´s goodness and light over them. God blessed us with great living conditions, food on every plate, showers, and even the little things like getting a row to our selves on long plane rides. We went through the struggle of feeling guilty for these things because we are on outreach and we were fooled that that means roughin´ it. Don´t get me wrong, we had our rough times, but we really learned just receive the blessings God gives us because He loves us and wants to give us good things, He loves giving us gifts.

3. Evangelism, prayer, and intercession can be so fun!

I have really learned that evangelism has a bad rep. When you hear it, it just does not honestly sound pleasant, but God has completely changed my heart on it. Evangelism is simple, its the life followers of Jesus are called to do everyday: love, encourage, pray, and spread the simple life changing gospel to His people! This is the life I should be living everyday and I think I really have learned to do so. I have also really seen the power of prayer and intercession. It is so fun because you can do it anywhere. Whether you are in a coffee shop or road tripping for days in a car, you have the power to really make an impact in someone´s day. I absolutely love just sitting somewhere public and asking God to highlight and give me a word for someone. Then I just get to go up to them and encourage them with what God is telling me! Most people are so touched that they are on God´s heart. I also have loved getting to intercede for people at home and just partner with what God is doing in their life! It is crazy that we have this ability right inside us to touch others´ life, wherever we may be, whatever we may be doing!!

4. Going without a phone for some time isn´t all that bad.

One of our first days in Colombia my phone was stolen out of my pocket and I went six weeks with no phone, no music, and no camera. It really sucked for the first couple weeks, the 6,000 pictures I had on that phone were gone and for those who know me pretty well, I loveeee taking pictures and capturing memories. However I found that instead of spending my spare moments scrolling on social media, I found myself talking to Jesus and reading the Bible. Throughout this time of being disconnected with what was happening in the world, I became more connected with Jesus. I found that He is really all I need. HE is all I need, HE will sustain me.

5. One can certainly live off three shirts for ten weeks.

I have spent most of outreach wearing the same three shirts, they are great, and I have learned to appreciate them very much! I have really experienced that I do not need nearly as much as I thought I did. I may wear the same outfit for four days straight, but with some sink laundry and lots of deodarent, it really isn´t all that bad. If anything I think I might enjoy having three shirts rather than ten. Its so simple. Before I left, many people advised me to pack less than I thought I would need and it was probably one of the best pieces of advice I´ve received. I also learned that practical is better in the sense of outreach. I have two articles of clothing that have really saved me: my poncho and my buff. Both can be used for countless purposes. SO GOOD!

6. You need to know who you are before where you are going.

God has taught me so much about who I am in Him. That no matter where I am, I am hidden in Him, I belong to Him, and nothing can change that. I think for the first time I really know my value and worth. I know what the King says about me and that is all that matters. I may not know where I am going or how I am gonna get there but my identity in Jesus is solid and that is what will keep me grounded.

7. Discovering the secret of a true servants heart.

I asked God at the beginning of outreach to really give me His servant´s heart so I can serve for the right reasons and for the right person, so that my motives are correct. I learned very quickly that a true servant´s heart (at least for me) needs to be genuinely okay with doing anything, with doing the dirty work. Being willing to do the stuff no one wants to do is so valuable to God and with that willing heart He has actually has not given me that many dirty jobs, I´ve actually truly enjoyed all the work I have done for Him whether it be pulling an endless amount of weeds in a garden or painting for a church for twelve hours straight. I have seen God really honor the willing hearts of everyone on my team.

8. Ask and you shall receive.

WOW did I see God´s faithfulness in this outreach or what. When we found out what country we were going to go to, one of the first things I did was ask God to give me His heart for the place, and I was surprised with how much love He gave me for (most) of the countries! I will not lie, I was not exactly excited to go back to North America, and the States in particular, but with each country I found it harder and harder to leave because I grew such a love for the place, the people, and the ministry.

9. Being an introvert is not an excuse.

I learned this lesson real quick. I am a hardcore introvert and sometimes ministry is hard for me because more times than not it is centered around making relationships and connections with people which involves ALOT of conversation with ALOT of different people, and usually I am the one initiating it. It can be very exhausting always being with so many people, but I have learned that I cannot run from these moments just because I do not want to be around people, or because it intimidates me, I need to power through for the sake of their souls, so they can encounter God´s perfect love. It has really been a journey of laying down my right to my introvertness.

10. Rest days are more than necessary.

This may have been one of the biggest things I learned on outreach. Having days off to rest, process, and rejuvenate are so vital to make sure I do not over extend myself. These are the days I find it appropriate to run off and spend the day alone with God going over what happened during the week and just letting Him fill me up. He has also shown me that I need to stop trying to operate in my own strength because after ten straight weeks of backpacking, I physically am not capable to do it on my own; causing me to completely rely on God to strengthen me, and it´s great because He always does. These days off are nice, although I never truly have an off day and I do not want to because I always want to be open to what God is saying, what He wants me to do, and who He wants me to talk to. It is an exciting life.

I could continue for hours on things I have learned during these last ten weeks. They have been the most adventurous, scary, fun, uncomfortable, exciting, challenging, and life changing weeks of my life.

THANK YOU JESUS