“I finally feel like I’m living again” – the words I said to my roommate this morning.
As I was spending time with the Lord today, I could not stop thanking him. His goodness is astounding. His faithfulness is unmatched. For the better part of this year, I’ve been in recovery mode. Letting sweet Jesus sustain and hold me and build me new in the midst of pain. For the better part of this year I have felt very low, maneuvering through healing and begging Jesus for it to be over. Begging him to bring me to the other side already. Dreading every step of this journey. Healing hurts and I was very much over it. ready to quit and just move on, but the thing was that I could not move on if I didn’t move through. through the valley with Jesus’ hand in mine the whole way. through the valley towards the l i g h t.
I was stubborn, so Jesus began to speak about surrender. again. and I said yes. again. and boy is he faithful. I didn’t know the power surrender could have. Surrendering what I thought this process was supposed to look like. surrendering how long I thought this would take. surrendering my dreams and plans and desires in exchange for healing, restoration, and peace. this exchange may have been the most liberating thing I’ve done. I was free. free from my own expectation of what this season should look like. free from my own timeline. free to give myself grace. free to let go and open my hands to God’s perfect plan. free from trying to figure it all out on my own. This season has brought a lot of confusion, but I’m learning to lean more than understand.
Its been a journey ill tell yah, but this morning as I woke up, I was in complete awe of the Lord. I finallllllyyyy felt alive again. He is faithful. He has truly brought me back to life. He literally picked me up off the ground and carried me through. He was there the entire time. He resurrected me. He saved me. He restored me. He made me new. hallelujah. He is a faithful father. and this is what he does – he brings the dead to life.
If I’ve learned one thing in this season, its that HE IS GOOD. he is trustworthy. and he is faithful to finish what he has begun. 100% I still have a ways to go and there is a lot more to work through, but I’m finally beginning to feel life again. joy again. light again. and its so refreshing. Thank you Jesus.
he is good
he is good
he is good
Hallelujah You have saved me. So much better Your way. – Upper Room Music