Jesus, the last sixth months have completely ruined me, wrecked me beyond measure. You have taught me to love deeper and live freer than I could have ever imagined possible. You have rooted me in my identity with you so that nothing can shake me, so that I truly believe that no other opinion or words have a hold on who I am. You have taught me to lay down my rights- all of them, with a joyful and excited heart to see what you can do with open hands. I now see the beauty in serving others’ needs before my own, because it causes me to rely on you more. I sit here in this airplane with tears in my eyes because of the immense way you have completely transformed my life, my world. Breaking down everything I thought I knew to open up to the truth of who you are and what you have done, leaving me thankful and in awe of how desperately I have fallen in love with you. You have reached the deepest and most painful parts of my heart to heal and mend me and then break me down more- all because you love me too much to be in a state that’s anything but free. You have given me people who have cared for me and loved me deeper than maybe I have ever felt before, and have given me an understanding of the importance and beauty of community. You have held me, danced with me, sang over me, cheered for me, overwhelmed me, married me, and most important: let me experience your love on a level I could have never thought of. I know you Jesus, I know what you have done for me and for others. I’ve caught a glimpse of your love and how you see me, but I want to know you more. I can never get enough of you and your sweet goodness. You leave me in awe of you as you’ve showed me the joy of worshiping in spirit and truth, and as much as I am a lover of your presence, you are even more a lover of my presence. I leave Norway feeling closer, freer, more alive, and more in love with you than I ever have felt before. You have blessed me beyond belief. I will head to Indonesia a completely new person that I hope no one will recognize. I cannot wait to spread your glorious name throughout this nation. I cannot wait to disciple the people I meet with the truth and revelations you have given me. You have given me a passion for people, for souls, to encounter you, to experience true freedom, to catch a glimpse of your perfect love. I don’t know what Asia holds for me, but I can honestly say I am not afraid. I don’t’ know what life after Asia will look like, but I can honestly say I am not overwhelmed, but excited at the fact that my life is an adventure with you, knowing you more, and spreading your love every day. Sweet Jesus, you have completely wrecked me, in the best way, and I would have it no other way.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” Proverbs 31:25