Month: February 2017

His Bride

Thursday night I felt like I was driving to my own funeral. We were on our way to the first of two intense ministry days, exploring the tabernacle, and laying things down on the altar to the Lord. I knew what I was about to do. I was about to make a declaration to the Lord that I would honor forever- because I love Him and He is worthy. We started with a burnt offering which is an absolute surrender to the Lord. I took up many symbolic sacrifices to give to God. I told Him that I give Him my entire life. I WILL go where He tells me to go, I WILL say what He tells me to say, and I WILL do what He tells me to do.

“But I trust in you, Lord; I say ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands” Psalm 31:14-15

I knew what I was laying down: my rights, my future, my plans, my desires, and my past for Him to heal, and I was happy to do it for my King. For all I knew He could give those things right back to me, but I needed to give Him control of it all.  It was so freeing. We then moved on to sin and guilt offerings; where I repented and was freed from sin that has bound me for years. Man something about public confession, I experienced freedom like I never had before. I am liberated, set free, and completely clean in the eyes of Jesus. I finally let Him in. Fully. I am dead to my old self, and so alive in my new life with Christ.

“Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me” Songs of Solomon 2:13

After this Jesus held me in His arms of grace as I cried at the cross and gave Him my heart and everything I had to offer. He romanced me in His presence and it felt like a marriage ceremony. I had given Him all of me, there is no going back. I made a vow, I am FOREVER His. Wherever He goes I will follow, because we are now one. I signed my life away to Him and I have no regrets because my groom will take care of me, protect me, and love me forever. I am His, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health- even after death we won’t part. After pouring my heart out to Jesus in front of 50 plus people, Jesus took me aside and simply loved on me and told me what he thinks of me: I am pure & clean, I am beautiful, I am important to Him, He is excited to do life with me, I am adventurous, I am free and He will teach me how to walk in His freedom daily, I am perfect the way He has made me, I am called to rule with Him, I am lovely, I am the apple of His eye, I am not worthless or useless, I am not damaged goods, my life has purpose,  I am His bride. I have never felt so secure and confident in my identity. I am no longer defined by my past or my future, my pain, my confusion, my sin, or by the country I am in, but in Jesus Christ who has made me new and clean in Him. I’m liberated and I’m never going back. I WILL learn to walk in this truth and freedom every day.

“When I found the one my heart loves, I held him and would not let Him go” Songs of Solomon 3:4

If you are reading this please know the truth of what Jesus says and thinks about you:

You are deeply loved, you are precious, you are priceless, your life DOES have purpose, you are wonderfully made, you are beautiful, you are made perfect, clean, and pure in Him, you are His prized possession, you have value, you are a beloved child of God. Christ has triumphed over the power of sin so that you can be free <3

“I will be glad and rejoice in your love” Psalm 31:7

my inheritance

This week Jesus gave me a new perspective of what He has done for me and I will never be the same.

A covenant is an establishment; it is to be knitted together with the covenant partner. It brings you into a family and is a unity of relationship. Once two people are in covenant they are bound together for life. Covenants cannot be broken. With this new unity comes the exchange of oneself to the other. What’s mine is yours and vice versa. I am in you and you in I. In the Old Testament or old covenant, people would exchange belts which were used for weapons. The exchange of belts represented the covenant partner sharing in the other’s strength; inheriting all that they have – family, power, protection, and destiny. Through other rituals, the partners would promise eternal faithfulness to each other. There is also a covenant scar that continuously reminds them that they are in covenant and oath with each other.

THIS is the relationship we have with God. We are knitted together as one with Him. It is how we are adopted into sonship as His sons and daughters. (Galatians 4:5) This commitment is lifelong and it cannot be broken. God is a faithful covenant partner. He is not a covenant breaker, He cannot be. Because of this covenant relationship all that we are is God’s and all that He is, is ours. He is in us, as we are hidden in Him. We share in his family, power, protection, and destiny- this is our inheritance. However this inheritance did not come at a free price. Jesus’ scarred hands/wrist are the covenant scars constantly reminding everyone in this covenant of the promises and commitment. Before Jesus saved me, I was bound in sin, law, and darkness. My life was purposeless and joyless as I was just waiting for my death sentence. It was no life at all. I was waiting in a jail cell for my turn on death row, with cement walls that could not be broken by my own strength-and I was completely deserving of all of it. I cannot meet the standards the law:

“Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect” Matthew 5:48

“For all have fallen short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

So I am in need of a Savior. The law is not here to scare me or so that I can try to get out of my death trap by striving to work and obey it, but it is simply there to show me my sin and make me aware of my desperate need for help, and my help is Jesus. He came to this earth to save me from the destruction my sins would have caused me. Jesus drank the cup meant for me and the rest of mankind- filled with my sin along with the whole earth’s sin, sickness, abuse, and darkness.

“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20

He became sin and a curse. He took my place and became separated from God for short while. He did not die from the physical pain, but from my sins.

“Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering.” Isaiah 53:4

He conquered death, sin, and satan as He rose on that third day, crushing the walls of sin and shame that separate me from Him. I had been held prisoner by law and sin but Jesus came to the rescue and took it all on so that I could be free and have a relationship with Him, so that I could be in covenant with Him.

Jesus said “It is finished” John 19:30

Jesus taught me many things through this new revelation, but here are the two that hit me hardest.

I needed to repent and ask for forgiveness for not properly recognizing the intense beauty of the cross. Its been such normality in my life that I became so used to the idea of it and used it more as a ticket to heaven rather than acknowledging what my King went through to rescue me and be with me. This new yet old message of the cross broke me this week and I am learning that it should break me every day. I am in covenant with God because of this sacrifice. It’s everything and I have abused its meaning and lessened its value.

Something else God really broke me with this week was that after being freed of every burden, sin, and shame, I need to keep it off and take on Jesus.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free and do not be entangled again with yoke of bondage” Galatians 5:2

I need to stay free and not get bound up again by things of this world. Jesus went to such great lengths for me to be free, how could I not walk in this freedom? How could I not walk in love and grace that was bought at such a great price but freely given to me. How could I not walk in the joy of the Lord continuously? How could I not serve wholeheartedly? How could I not live the fullest life that Jesus died to give me? Jesus went through too much for me not to live fully in Him.

pure delight

This week’s topic was the Bible. My group studied the story in Mark 1 where Jesus heals a leper, and at first glance I found nothing new since I had read that story many many times before, but God, being his awesome self, revealed some cool stuff to me and my group.

The leper would have been an outcast. He would have been very lonely because it is probable that no one has payed attention to him, talked to him and definitely not touched him in a while. He would had probably been kicked out of his town and sent to a desolate area because of how contagious the disease is. However, our beautiful King, touches the man, and heals him.

“Then a leper came to Jesus and began pleading with Him. He fell on his knees and told Him, ‘If you want to, you can make me clean’. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand, touched him and told him ‘I do want to. Be made clean!’. Instantly the leprosy left him and he was clean.” Mark 1:40-42

Yes it was incredible that he was healed, but I could not help but think that just having Jesus touch him meant the world. He did not just have anyone touch him, but the Messiah. Incredible. This really showed me how personal God is. He wants to know us, and then heal us. He is not just worried about making people clean, but what he desires is relationship. He came close to the man just as He comes close to me. He is not worried about what the people surrounding Him say about Him placing His hands on an unclean person. Instead he makes the leper feel like it is just them two in that moment.  I am unclean. Jesus, the purest of pure, touches me, heals me, and wants a relationship with me. If that is not scandalous love I do not know what it. He makes the leper feel important, loved, and seen, just by a simple touch. Ugh He is so good.

I have felt Jesus’ touch a lot lately, however, in ways that I am not used to. Jesus and I had the best time hanging out at the beach together the other day. It was stormy and beautiful. We spent a couple hours, just us two, walking, laughing, smiling, singing, talking and dancing. At that moment it was just us two, and I felt important, loved, and seen. Today, my friends and I went on a long hike and again in this time I felt that it was just me and God hiking the mountain together, surrounded by His beautiful creation. He told me on that afternoon at the beach to spend this time simply delighting in Him and enjoying my time with Him. While there are a million things happening around, it comforts me knowing that first and foremost God desires to deepen our relationship. He is teaching me to seek Him in my random everyday activities. I do not spend every day laughing with God at the beach or hiking a mountain with Him, but I am learning to pursue Him whether I am walking through the sand, or doing the dishes. I want to get to know Him and seek Him every second of every day. In His presence I am so satisfied. I am quickly learning that He is enough for me. Being with Him is all I need. He is so simple, His love is so simple and He is teaching me how simple delighting in Him is. Its beautiful to be focused daily on just getting to know God more.